Transcript:Merlin in Need (2009)


 * [A shot of Camelot Castle.]
 * [Scene: Camelot Castle, Uther speaks with Gaius.]

Uther Pendragon: Gaius, there is a dark magic infecting this kingdom like a plague. Gaius: I know, sire. Uther: You've witnessed this abominations yourself? Gaius: Indeed, I have, sire.
 * [Scene: Gaius' place, earlier that day. Gaius goes over to a microwave and takes dinner out.]

Gaius: Dinner's ready. Merlin: Smells delicious. Gaius: Your favourite, chicken tikka masala. [Gaius opens a tin.] Poppadom? Merlin: Mmm. [Merlin takes a Poppadom and bites it.]
 * [Back to the present.]

Uther: How can we rid ourselves of this pestilence.
 * [Scene: Morgana's room, Guinevere is tending to Morgana's hair.]

Morgana: What is that strange smelling potion? Guinevere: Just a bit of products. Can't have you with flat, life-less locks now, can we? Morgana: That would be a terrible thing, indeed. Gwen::[Gwen takes a hairdryer out and dries Morgana's hair.] Going anywhere nice on your holiday this year?
 * [Back to the present.]

Uther: Has Arthur been informed? Gaius: I'm afraid he too may have succumbed to the enchantment.
 * [Scene: Arthur's room, Arthur prepares for sleep.]

Merlin: Goodnight, sire. [Merlin puts the candle out.] Arthur: Merlin! Aren't you forgetting something? Merlin: Goodnight, sire. [Merlin gives Arthur his Pudsey doll.]
 * [Scene: Back to the present.]

Uther: Clearly the sorcerer responsible did not dare turn his vile enchantment on me. Gaius: Indeed, sire. [A phone is heard ringing, gaining Gaius' attention.] We look to you for leadership... [The phone continues ringing, Gaius briefly stops.] ...in these dark times. Uther: Quite right. [Uther takes out a mobile phone and answers.] Uther Pendragon. [Gaius appears shocked.] Yes? You were CCed on the e-mail. Give your money to Pudsey or you will be thrown into the stocks! Is that clear? Okay, yep, bye. ''[Uther hangs up. A guard holding a machine gun is visible behind him. Uther turns to Gaius, who has a dumbfounded look on his face.]'' What? Gaius: [Gaius says the catchphrase of Richard Wilson's other character Victor Meldrew in One Foot in the Grave.] I don't believe it!