Transcript:The Once and Future Queen

The transcript for The Once and Future Queen, found here.

[Odin's castle] Kelda: My Lord, he is here. Odin: You are Myror? Legend has it, you are the most feared assassin in all the known lands. Tell me, are you as ruthless as they say you are? You would kill anyone? Myror: I have killed many people. They are all the same to me. Odin: You are prepared to kill royalty? Myror: My Lord, you would already be dead had someone placed a bounty on you. Odin: I want you to kill the man who murdered my son. I want you to kill Arthur Pendragon. -- [tournament grounds] Merlin: That has got to hurt. Arthur: That's the point, Merlin. It's not a pillow fight. Fetch me another lance, will you? Why did you pull out, I was wide open? You could have unhorsed me. Leon: I was fearful that I might injure you, Sire. Arthur: You had the advantage. You can't afford to hesitate. Leon: I wouldn't have done if I were facing a different opponent. You are the future King, My Lord. Arthur: You jousted against me in the tournament last year. Are you saying you let me win? Leon: No, My Lord. Arthur: It doesn't matter who I am! I do not expect any special treatment from you, from any of you! Is that understood? -- [Arthur's Chambers] Arthur: How am I going to prove myself if my opponents aren't trying their hardest? Merlin: I'm sure it's not happening all the time. Arthur: So it's happening some of the time? Merlin: No I'm certain it isn't. Arthur: Now you're doing it! You're telling me exactly what you think I want to hear! Merlin: Yes. Er...no. Er...what was the question? Arthur: That just proves it. All my life I've been treated as if I'm special. I just want to be treated just like everyone else. Merlin: Really? Arthur: You have no idea how lucky you are. Merlin: Well, anytime you want to swap places, just let me know. Arthur: That's not a totally stupid idea. Merlin: You're Prince Arthur. You can't change who you are. Arthur: Yes I can. -- [Uther and Arthur dine in the Council Chamber of Doom] Arthur: We've received reports that a beast has been sighted roaming the forest near the northern borders. Uther: What's the nature of this beast? Arthur: It is said to have the body of a lion, the wings of an eagle, and the...face of a bear. I believe it has been conjured by sorcery. Uther: Then we must destroy it. Arthur: I'll leave for the northern borders in the morning. Uther: But you'll miss the tournament. Arthur: As much as I want to compete, my duty to Camelot comes first. Uther: You are right, of course. -- [woods just outside Camelot] Arthur: I'll meet you here in four days. You must tell no one I've returned to Camelot. You're late. Merlin: Sorry. Gaius had me wa...ing the floors. I couldn't... Arthur: What is that smell? Whose clothes are these? Merlin: They're mine. I washed them specially. You sure this is a good idea? Arthur: Seems pretending to be somebody else is the only way to get people to be honest with me. Grab my bag, will you? Merlin: If you want to pass as a peasant, you should probably carry your own bag. Arthur: You're forgetting something, Merlin. No one will know it's my bag. Merlin: There must be easier ways to prove yourself. Arthur: Shut up, Merlin. -- [Council Chamber of Doom] Kelda: I was there in person. Odin has put a price on Prince Arthur's head. Uther: Surely he wouldn't dare. Kelda: He's blinded by grief, My Lord. The assassin Myror has accepted the bounty. Uther: I've heard of this Myror. Kelda: I believe he's heading for Camelot as we speak. I bring you this information at great risk to myself. Uther: Double the guards. I want this assassin intercepted before he reaches Camelot. -- [Myror waits to assassinate Arthur, but he's not with the men supposedly going to the northern borders] -- [Merlin and Arthur enter Gwen's house, Arthur's hood obscuring his face] Gwen: My Lord. Arthur: Guinevere. It's good of you to let me stay in your home. Gwen: I'm happy to help. Merlin (whisper): Food. Gwen: I'll prepare some food for you. [whisper to Merlin] I can't believe you talked me into this! [whispers] Arthur: You can't really expect me to stay here. Merlin: We need to keep you out of sight. We can trust Gwen not to tell anyone you're here. Arthur: I doubt anyone would believe it. Merlin: You really can't go without your big bed and your soft pillows? Arthur: This will be fine. [normal volume] Arthur: How are the preparations coming along? Have we found someone to play our knight in the tournament? Merlin: Absolutely. He's a famer from one of the outlying villages, and no one will recognise him. Arthur: But does he look the part? -- [Merlin, Arthur, Gwen, and William in Gwen's house] Arthur: Great. Merlin: From now on, you're Sir William of Deira. Imagine you're really...arrogant. Knights like to think they're so much better than everyone else. Arthur: It's not arrogance. Ignore him, he's an idiot. A knight must behave with honour and nobility. That's...better. You must convince everyone that you were born into a noble family. William: Polish my armour, boy. Arthur: Now you're gettin' the hang of it. William: *lol* Arthur: That's a good point, you do need to polish our armour. William: Yeah. *lol* -- [Merlin flops onto his own bed] Gaius: Glad to see you're resting, Merlin. I take it that mean you've got the energy to clean my leech tank. Merlin: Ugh. -- [Gwen sweeping her house while Arthur finished his drink] Arthur: It's been a long day. I think I'll turn in for the night. Is this my bed? Gwen: Of course. I hope you'll be comfortable. Arthur: I'm sure I will be. Goodnight, Guinevere. Gwen: Goodnight, My Lord. -- [Myror scales the wall into the castle] Guard: Halt! Show yourself. What business do you have in the King's palace. Myror: I came to seek an audience with, er, with Prince Arthur. Guard: What's your name? Myror: My name is Myror. -- [Myror grabs a guard, Fyren, covering his mouth before releasing him] Fyren: Why are you here? Myror: Your information was wrong. Prince Arthur is not among the party travelling to the northern borders. Fyren: The Prince left with them yesterday. Myror: Then they must have separated. Perhaps he has returned to Camelot. Fyren: Not that I've heard. His return would've been announced at court. Myror: It would seem the Prince does not want to be found. Hmm. -- [Merlin and cloaked Arthur head to his tent. Uther walks into the stands and the knights enter on horseback to stand before the King] Arthur: Now, remember the plan. I'm competing in the tournament, but no one will know that it's me. All you have to do is acknowledge the crowd at the end of the match. Act like you belong there and people will believe that you do. Uther: Knights of the realm, welcome to Camelot. You've trained for this day for many years. Merlin: Well, he hasn't fallen off his horse. Uther [background]: ...our bravery, strength... Arthur: I suppose that's something. Uther:...and your skill to the test. Today you will fight for glory and for honour. For this is the ultimate test of courage. And it will be the measure of you as men. For only the most skilful, the most fearless among you will emerge as a worthy champion. William: They're ready for you, Sire. -- [tournament begins. Gwen cheers for Arthur enthusiastically as he wins each match. Myror also watches. Arthur enters his tent and tosses William his helmet] Arthur: You must go and acknowledge the crowd. William: How do you do that? Arthur: You wave, they cheer. It's not difficult. I do all the work, someone else gets all the praise. Merlin: Know the feeling. Arthur: When I win this tournament, I'll reveal my true identity, get the credit I deserve. Merlin: Of course you will. Arthur: Well don't just stand there. Help me off with my armour. And remember to polish it before tomorrow. The horse needs grooming. And don't forget to repair the broken lances. -- [Fyren sits next to Myror in the stands] Myror: Do you have news on the whereabouts of Prince Arthur? Fyren: Everyone believes he is travelling to the northern borders, but I've discovered that Arthur's servant remains in Camelot. Myror: Who is this servant? Fyren: That's him. Myror: Why is he working for another knight? -- [Physician's Chambers. Merlin tries to sneak past Gaius to his room. Gaius turns and stares at him] Merlin: Is this about the leech tank? Gaius: How very perceptive of you, Merlin. Merlin: I'll clean it tomorrow. Gaius: And will that be before or after you've scrubbed the floors and done the laundry? -- [Gwen clears the table after dinner] Gwen: From what I hear, the ladies of the court are quite impressed with Sir William. They think he's very handsome. Arthur: Typical. He wouldn't know a real knight if he whacked him round the head with his lance. Gwen: Why are you doing this? Arthur: I fear that people respect me just because of my title. Gwen: I don't believe that's true of everyone. Arthur: Would you tell me if it were? Gwen: No. Arthur: When I'm competing as William, my title doesn't matter, nobody gives me any special treatment. So when I win this tournament...if I win this tournament, it will be because I deserve it and not because I am Prince Arthur. I think I'll take a bath. Gwen: That might be difficult seeing as I don't have a bathtub. Arthur: Really? Er...perhaps you could prepare me a bowl of hot water. I take it you have a bowl. Gwen: I think I can manage a bowl. Just walk all the way down to the well and fetch some water then, shall I? -- [Merlin asleep on the floor, his hands still holding the brush and bucket. Gaius enters] Gaius: Merlin, on your feet. Arthur may be away, but I'm not. And why is my leech tank still dirty? Where do you get the idea you can sit around all day doing nothing? Merlin: Wha..? Do you think I sit around doing nothing?! I haven't had a chance to sit around and do nothing since the day I arrived in Camelot! I'm too busy running around after Arthur! Do this, Merlin! Do that, Merlin! And when I'm not running around after Arthur, I'm doing chores for you! And if I'm not doing that, I'm fulfilling my destiny! Do you know how many times I've saved Arthur's life? I've lost count. Do I get any thanks? No. I have fought griffins, witches, er...bandits, I have be punched, poisoned, pelted with fruit, and all the while I have to hide who I really am, because if anyone finds out, Uther will have me executed! Sometimes I feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions, I don't know which way to turn! -- [tournament day 2] Merlin: Sir Alinor has advanced to the final. -- [Arthur faces Sir Leon. Arthur wins and everyone rises to their feet cheering, except Gwen] Gaius: You're not impressed by this Sir William of Deira. Gwen: I believe he's an arrogant pig. -- [Merlin and William waiting in the tent] Merlin: Congratulations, you are in the final. Arthur: Go on then. You're people await you. No one can say Sir Leon let me win this time. Merlin: Sounds like the crowd've really taken to William. Arthur: That will change when I reveal my identity. Merlin: You really miss getting all the attention, don't you? Arthur: Just go and water the horse, will you? -- [Merlin watering the horse. Myror approaches him] Myror: He's a fine horse. I see your master has advanced to the final. He's extremely skilled with a lance. Merlin: He's doing well. Just one more match to go. Myror: Tell me, what is he like to work for? Merlin: Between you and me? He can be a bit of a prat. Myror: *lol* So you are no longer working for Prince Arthur? Merlin: No. Yes, yes. Not right now. Arthur's away. I'm just...helping out. Myror: Well, I, erm, I wish your master luck in the final. Merlin: Thanks. -- [Gwen's sweeping the pantry where she's been sleeping when Arthur enters through the front door] Arthur: Guinevere? Gwen: Just a minute. Arthur: Do you have a needle and threat. My shirt needs mending. Gwen: Erm... Arthur: Is this where you sleep? Where's your bed? Gwen: You're sleeping in it. Arthur: Why didn't you say something? Gwen: How could I? You're Prince Arthur. Besides, you didn't give me the chance. You just assumed the bed was yours. Arthur: Well, how am I supposed to know if you don't tell me? Gwen: You shouldn't need to be told to think of someone other than yourself, you're not a child. Arthur: Is there anything else you'd like to say to me? Please, I'd like to hear it. If there's something you want to say to me, don't let me stop you. Gwen: You don't have any idea, do you? Arthur: About what? Gwen: About how rude and arrogant you can be! This is my home and you are my guest in it! I know you are used to more luxurious quarters, but that is not an excuse to be so rude! You claim titles don't matter to you, but you behave like a prince and expect me to wait on you like a servant! Saying it means nothing if your actions betray you! Would it kill you to say please and thank you once in a while?! My Lord. Arthur: Is there anything else you'd like to add? Gwen: No, I think that's it. Arthur: You're right. You have invited me into your home and I have behaved appallingly. Gwen: I didn't mean to make you feel bad. Arthur: Oh, really? Gwen: Well, perhaps a little. Arthur: There's no excuse. I'll make it up to you. Tonight, I will make dinner for you. Gwen: You're going to cook me dinner? Arthur: I most certainly am. Now go for a walk or do whatever it is that girls do at this time of the evening... Gwen: A walk would be nice. Arthur: ...and your dinner will be ready when you return. -- [Merlin meets Gwen in the street as she walks away from her house] Merlin: Where's Arthur? Gwen: He's cooking me dinner. Merlin: Arthur's cooking? -- [Merlin enters Gwen's house where Arthur is staring hopelessly at a raw chicken] Arthur: Merlin, thank God. Merlin: Gwen says you're cooking. Arthur: I need you to fetch me two dinners from the palace kitchens. Merlin: So...you're not cooking. Arthur: No, but Gwen doesn't need to know that. As far as she's concerned, dinner will be prepared and cooked by me. Merlin: You're trying to impress her? Arthur: Don't be ridiculous, Merlin. And get me a decent shirt, will you? Your clothes are making me itch all over, it's like having fleas. -- [Myror's snooping in Arthur's Chambers when Merlin comes in to get a shirt. Myror hides, then follows him out] -- [Arthur's at the window watching for Gwen while Merlin sets the table] Arthur: She's coming. Quick, out the back way. Do something with this. [Arthur tosses him the raw chicken] Merlin: Hope Gwen's impressed with your cooking. [Merlin leaves and Arthur spins around as Gwen opens front the door] Arthur: Guinevere. Perfect timing. [Arthur pulls out her seat for her] Gwen: Thank you. [Myror watches from the window and preps a mini crossbow] Gwen: This is delicious. Arthur: I'm glad you like it. -- [night patrol interrupts Myror's assassination attempt] Guard: Halt! You! Stop right there! Guard: Did you see him? [Myror escapes by hanging under the draw bridge] -- [Physician's Chambers. Merlin puts cooked chicken on the table as Gaius enters] Merlin: Dinner's ready. What I said this morning... Gaius: It is I who should be apologising to you. I have failed to appreciate just how heavy your burden must be. Merlin: I shouldn't've lost my temper with you. Gaius: It's no wonder you're upset. There's so much resting on your young shoulders. Now that Arthur's away, you must take time to enjoy yourself. Merlin: What about the leech tank? Gaius: Don't even think about the leech tank. Merlin: Really? Gaius: All this talk of leeches will put us off our dinner. Where'd that chicken come from? Come in! Leon: The King commands your presence immediately. -- [Uther, Gaius, Merlin, and Leon in the Guards' Corridor inspecting the body of the first guard] Uther: Can you determine a cause of death? Gaius: His neck's been broken. There's scarcely a mark on the flesh. Whoever killed him knew exactly what he was doing. Leon: Earlier this evening, an intruder was spotted in the lower town. Uther: Then I fear it's true, Odin has sent an assassin to kill Arthur. Merlin: An assassin? Uther: Have you any word from Arthur since he left for the northern borders? Merlin: No. None. Uther: With this assassin in Camelot, we must be thankful Arthur isn't here. Search the entire town. I want the assassin found before Arthur returns. -- [Arthur and Gwen smiling at dinner] Arthur: So, do I have any more annoying habits you wish to tell me about? Gwen: No, none. Arthur: There's something else, isn't there? What is it? Gwen: Well, the truth is...you snore. Arthur: I do not snore. Gwen: You do. The first night you were here, I thought a pig had got into the house. Arthur: So now I'm a pig. Thank you, Guinevere. Gwen: I just meant you sound like a pig. I think I better stop talking. [she starts getting up to clear the table] Arthur: I'll do that. Gwen: Where did you get those plates? Arthur: From...the cupboard? Gwen: They have the royal seal. They're from the palace kitchens. I've washed enough of them to know. I take it that's where our food also came from. Arthur: Look, I can kill a chicken from a thousand paces, just don't ask me to cook it. That's what servants are for. I didn't mean it like that. Gwen: I'm not ashamed to be a servant. At least I'm not a liar. Arthur: We had a nice meal together. What does it matter where it came from? Gwen: Because I thought you'd shown some humility! You'd done something kind for me even though I'm just a servant! A good king should respect his people, no matter who they are. Arthur: Guinevere. I know I have much to learn. There are some things that I am terrible at - cooking being one of them. But also, knowing what to say to someone I care about. Merlin: Arthur, there's an assassin's in Camelot. He's here to kill you. -- Merlin: The assassin killed a guard. Your father said Odin sent him. Gwen: Why would Odin want you dead? Arthur: Because I killed his son. Odin's son challenged me to a fight. I had no quarrel with him. I asked him to withdraw. Perhaps he felt he had to prove himself. I can still see his face. He looked so scared. Gwen: You cannot blame yourself. Merlin: No one but us knows where you are. If the assassin can't find you, he can't kill you. Arthur: May I continue to stay here? Gwen: Of course, for as long as you need. Arthur: Thank you. I'll sleep on the floor tonight. Gwen: No, have my bed. You need to be well rested for the tournament tomorrow. Arthur: I'll not hear of it. Goodnight, Guinevere. Gwen: Goodnight. Arthur: Fetch the mattress from my quarters and bring it up here. Merlin: How am I supposed to carry a mattress on my own? Arthur: I don't know, strap it to your back. -- [Arthur prepares to leave the next morning] Arthur: One more match. The tournament will be over. Gwen: You can go back to being Prince Arthur. Erm...I thought you might wear it...for luck. Arthur: Thank you. [they kiss] Arthur: I must go. -- [Myror watches Arthur meet Merlin in the street on his way to the tournament grounds, he follows them and sees Arthur with his double] William: Nearly ready for you, Sire. [Myror watches Will hand Arthur the helmet. Myror sees two knights greet each other] Knight: Sir Alinor, good luck in the final. [Myror attacks Sir Alinor in his tent, dresses in his armour and disguises a deadly lance. Arthur and Myror face each other on the course. Arthur gets hit with the deadly lance and Gwen stands up in shock, running out of the stands to him. Merlin sees the disguised deadly point and heads after Myror. Gwen supports Arthur as they rush into the tent] Arthur: His lance pierced my armour. Gwen: You're losing too much blood. [Gwen takes off the favour she gave him and holds it against the wound] Arthur: Do what you can. I have to be back on the course within five minutes or I forfeit the match. Gwen: You can't possibly joust, you're too badly injured! Arthur: I have never withdrawn from a match. I do not intend to start now. Gwen: You would risk your life to protect your pride? You have nothing to prove. Least of all to me. Arthur: I have everything to prove. To myself. -- [Merlin sees Myror in armour and the dead Sir Alinor. Arthur mounted on his horse motions to the lance rack ] Arthur: You'll have to pass me my lance. Gwen: This is madness! [Arthur rides off and Merlin runs up to Gwen] Merlin: Gwen! Where's Arthur? Gwen: He's about to joust. Merlin: He's jousting against the assassin. [Merlin and Gwen rush to the course. Arthur and Myror tilt] Merlin: Unbinde þé téage. [Merlin uses magic to snap the girth on Myror's horse so Arthur unhorses/kills him. Merlin helps Arthur off the course] -- [William, Gwen, Merlin, and Arthur gather in the tent] Merlin: You were jousting against the assassin. He killed Sir Alinor and took his place. The people are waiting for their champion. It's time to reveal yourself. Arthur: You must go and collect the trophy. Gwen: I thought this was going to be your moment of glory? Arthur: Perhaps this is a time for humility. [Merlin, Gwen, and cloaked Arthur laugh and smile as William celebrates victory to wild applause] -- [Merlin goes to the tent where Gaius has carted off Myror] Gaius: Merlin, who is this man? Where's Sir Alinor? -- [Council Chamber of Doom. Arthur stands before court with bandages over his bloody armour] Arthur: The assassin attacked us as we returned to Camelot. I was injured whilst killing him. Uther: Odin must be made to pay for his actions. We must strike back at him. Arthur: Surely you understand the grief he feels for the loss of his son? We should try to make peace with him. There's been enough bloodshed. Uther: Perhaps you're right. How was the rest of your trip? Fruitful? Arthur: Very. I learned a great deal. How was the tournament? Uther: Excellent. We have a new champion, Sir William of Deira. Arthur: I'm sorry I missed all the excitement. -- [court members exit into the Courtyard Corridor. Arthur checks to check that his father isn't looking and turns to Gwen] Arthur: Guinevere. *ahem* What happened while I was staying with you...I'm afraid my father would never understand. Gwen: You don't have to explain. Perhaps when you are King, things will be different. Uther: Arthur? -- [Physician's Chambers. Merlin cleaning the leech tank] Merlin: This is horrible. This is so disgusting. Gaius: Well, perhaps you'll think twice about lying to me in the future. And Merlin, there's something on your face. Merlin: Where? Gaius: *lol*