Transcript:Merlin in Need (2008)


 * [The logo of Merlin flashes.]


 * [A shot of Camelot Castle, with the caption "Once Upon a Time in Camelot..."]


 * [Scene: Camelot Castle, the court of Camelot, including Uther, Arthur and Gaius, are in discussion. Suddenly, some sort of creature is heard causing the doors to shake.]

Uther Pendragon: What the devil is going on?
 * [Merlin comes through the door in a hurry.]

Merlin: There's a monster! Uther: A monster? Merlin: It's horrible, yellow, and has only one eye! Uther: Arthur, you must destroy it. Arthur: I'll ride out immediately. [Gets out his sword.] Gaius: My lord. [Arthur and his knights stop.] I fear this is no ordinary monster. Uther: You know of this beast? Gaius: I do, my lord. I believe it to be a... [hesitates] Uther: Spit it out, man! Gaius: [Gaius opens his book.] Pudsey, sire. [Points to an illustration of Pudsey.] Uther: A Pudsey? [Arthur turns to Merlin and mouths in confusion "A Pudsey?"] Is it a creature of magic? If so, it must be destroyed. Gaius: I believe it to be a creature of charity. Uther: Charity? Gaius: Yes, my lord. We need to raise money, sire. Lots of money. Uther: I will not have this creature fleece my kingdom! Gaius: I don't mean that, sire. Someone must be humiliated to amuse the public. Uther: But who would do such a thing?
 * [Everyone turns to Merlin, who appears confused.]
 * [Cut to: Merlin in the stocks, being pelted with fruit by the amused public.]
 * [The scene fades to the logo.]
 * [Scene: Camelot Castle, Uther is with Arthur and Gaius, counting the money raised. It is contained in a chest with a Pudsey Bear dressed as a king sitting on the money.]

Gaius: The public have been very generous, sir. Uther: Yes. Well done, Gaius. Gaius: Don't thank me, sire. Thank Merlin.
 * [Merlin enters, covered in fruit.]

Uther: [Uther, upon seeing Merlin, chuckles.] I have a mind to honour this Pudsey every year. Gaius: I'm sure Merlin will be thrilled, sire.
 * [Merlin sarcastically smiles. A tomato from off-screen hits him in the face.]
 * [Scene: Throne Room, Uther addresses the people of Camelot.]

Uther: Do as your king commands. [Uther takes a goblet.] Give your money to Pudsey, or I'll chop your head off. [Uther takes a sip from his goblet.]