Transcript:A Lesson in Vengeance

AUDREY

You! What are you doing in my kitchen?



DRAGOON

Nothing.

AUDREY

Nothing means mischief in my book.



DRAGOON

Well you’ve been reading the wrong book.

AUDREY

And mischief means theft.

DRAGOON

No, it doesn’t.

AUDREY

And theft means my pies!

DRAGOON

<p class="MsoNormal">Your pies! Why on earth would anyone want to steal your god-forsaken pies?

<p class="MsoNormal">AUDREY

<p class="MsoNormal">My pies are the talk of Camelot.

<p class="MsoNormal">DRAGOON

<p class="MsoNormal">Oh yes, indeed they are. The crust like rusted iron, a filling like last year’s horse dung, and the smell, oh yes,  just like the guardhouses in the trees.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">AUDREY

<p class="MsoNormal">Nobody sulks my pies and gets away with it!

<p class="MsoNormal">DRAGOON

<p class="MsoNormal">Oh I’m sorry, should I speak instead of your poisonous flans? Like vomit, curding in the noon day’s sun. Or your dumplings! The king himself likened them to freshly laid frogspawn, rat, and pig snout.

<p class="MsoNormal">AUDREY

<p class="MsoNormal">What would you know about the king and my dumplings?

<p class="MsoNormal">DRAGOON

<p class="MsoNormal">Oh good grief. *slaps her with a pan with magic* I should have done that years ago.

<p class="MsoNormal">